Pregnant Me!

By looking at these pictures I think Paige is going to be my biggest baby! I am almost as big as I was at 37 weeks with Cash!!! I am almost 34 weeks now and even bigger! This last semester has been by far my hardest yet. I am having an interesting time haha but I shouldn't complain because I know there are people way worse. Lately I have been having some crazy pain happening and we thought I was actually going into labor. But thank heavens that was a false alarm. I get these fake out things like every other day. I had a doctors appointment last week and I am on some medication to help calm everything down. And I am not allowed to lift or do anything that makes my body strain. Just to help me not go into premature labor. So I just have to be way careful even if I feel great. Haah this should be interesting! It is actually going a lot better than I thought...Monkey has been such a HUGE help and he barely lets me pick up paper! Belle and Cash have been understanding for the most part about me not being able to hold them. I am struggling though with how they have been acting...

Cash is sooooo needy. He has never been like this. He won't even sleep. He normally is asleep at 7pm and doesn't wake up till 8:30am. He takes great naps! For the last 3 weeks he has not wanted me out of his sight. It cries his head off when he goes to bed. He won't stay in his bed. He only will stay if I lay with him. But I won't because I will not let it become a habit especially before the baby. So I sadly have had to switch the door knob around and lock the door. Instead of a ten minute bedtime ritual it has turned into a 2 hour ritual. He wakes up at least 2-3 times a night... coming in my room and he just wants to snuggle. And me having to take him back in bed. Or he cries Mama until I come and quit him down and he just wants me to be with him. Then he will wake up anywhere from 5:30- 6:30am.... Then all day he just holds my leg and says "Mama I just need you..." or he wants to touch my face. If I can't do it all day he just cries or screams at me. It's lovely!

Belle is the same wanting a lot of attention but she on the other hand is angry all the time for who knows what??? She is slapping cash, Monkey, and Me a lot. Hitting, pushing, slapping...etc. She has gotten back into her almost satanic screaming and telling us to get out of her face, you go to the corner, I hate you and this, I don't care, etc. I can't pick her up so she has learned the art of I am not coming and I can run away cause Mom can't get me. So I have had to pull her inside or to the corner or to her room by her arm and she screams, "Mooooom your hurting me, get off me!" She flings herself and kicks like crazy. She even almost broke a hole in her door from kicking it because I said she had to take a few minutes in her room to cool down. I have felt at a complete loss of what to do. I have to be honest I am at the end of my rope.... and some how each day I get a little more rope- cause somehow I make it without completely selling them to strangers (I would never). I feel like I already have a new born baby. I have found myself accidentally falling asleep in the day (on the couch, the floor, cash's bed, etc.) and being woke up by Belle who says, "Mom wake up crazy!" I really don't know how to handle them... Because these behaviors they are doing is so out of the blue... One day they were just their normal selves and now I am struggling to just keep Cash from killing me and Belle from killing everyone else!

Today I went to the doctor for a well check for Cash and I asked the doctor if kids act different when they know a new baby is coming... She smiled and laughed and said "Oh yeah... Some get super clingy and want to be babies again... so they act that way.".... CASH.... "And some lash out with tempers and anger because they don't like how Mom is or don't like the changes happening."... BELLE... I felt some energy reenter my body like okay what my kids are doing is normal... It won't last. I think I can do this. She also told me that this stage doesn't end right after the Baby... It might go on for a while but my kids will eventually get use to the change! I did have a experience at the doctors that made me feel like I can do this I will share that later.

I have a little less then 3 weeks left till I hit 36 weeks and my doctor said "then come what may." He doesn't think little Paige will last long after 36 weeks. We will see... I honestly can't wait to see this little girl... I am so ready!