Rotations

I can't even believe that we our done with the rotation lottery... Rotations are all of Monkey's 4th year of Optometry school. Basically it's where Monkey will be working for 3 months (each) with different eye clinics around the world. So we got a huge list of all the locations of the different clinics and we had to pick 4 of them and then all optometry students get together and lottery for the sites (draw numbers and if your number is drawn you get the site! it's scary cause you have no idea if you will get what you want or not). We got so lucky... really... We got everything we wanted, I could not believe it. We had to lottery for the 1st site which Monkey got. Then the rest no body wanted them so we just got them! So here is where we will be our 4th year... Which is starting May of this next year!!!

1st-  May-August 2013 Low Vision in Portland. I will be spending it with all my wonderful friends in the same place... Forest Grove

2nd-  August-October 2013 Salt Lake City VA in SLC
and
3rd-  November-January 2014 Mt. Ogden, UT stay in SLC... I will be spending it with my sisters Jaclyn and Natalie and their families and Lexi and Caleb, Monkey's brother (overjoyed) and living in a month to month apartment or something!!!!!

 (Natalie's Family... who are a lot older now!)

(Jaclyn's family)

(Caleb and Lexi... plus baby girl Mullins soon to be this Monday!!!)

and finally....
4th-  February- April 2014 Icon Vision Clinic in Colorado... I will be spending it with the rest of my family living with my parents!!!

Then back to Forest Grove for a short visit so Monkey can graduate from Optometry school in April 2014 and start work with the Air Force!!!

I am having a heart attack thinking that this time exactly next year we will be moving away from Forest Grove and starting a new chapter in our lives... I can't believe it!

Gladly Surviving

So since Paige has been home we have been staying home to make sure she stays well. I feel so bad for her because of all the diarrhea Paige has gotten a serious diaper rash. Man it is boily and everything. She spent all Monday night screaming because it hurt so bad. Monkey had to sleep on the couch so he could get some sleep to have energy to take his final. She was a bit better yesterday so we went outside to enjoy some fresh air and our fresh black berries... Which I don't think was a good idea but I will get to that later....

 I love our backyard... yes it is only a hill but there is black berries, cherry tree, apple trees, and sweet pea flowers that for my information actually grow sweet peas... snap peas! I had no idea! Anyways it was so good to be outside and to have Paige enjoy some sun! It was so fun watching Belle and Cash race! They were running everywhere! I have to say it is hilarious watching them run... because they are both soooooo slow!!! Like so slow! I love it! They definitely take after me.

 Later after snacking on PB and J and loving the healthy life... our night began. I finally got Paige down for the night around midnight. Oh and side note- I am struggling a bit with Paige, because she will not let me not hold her. She would sleep so well if I held her at night but I have a terrible fear of rolling over her that I don't sleep. Paige seriously can't handle it if I am not right next to her or holding her. Like for example... I needed to go to the store and I feed her and changed her and Paige was sleeping. 10 minutes into grocery shopping I get a text and Paige is screaming out of control. I leave and come in thinking something is wrong and I pick her up... she smiles and falls back asleep. Another day I leave to the library for a sec to get a short break by myself and same thing... within minutes Paige is awake and out of control crying. So I come home.... She will wake herself out of a dead sleep if I leave the room sometimes... Good thing she is a new born and so stinkin cute and getting so chunky- or I might be tempted not to come back.... just kidding!

 Anyways our night... I get Paige to bed at midnight and about 15 minutes later I feel a hand on my back. It is Cash. I looked at him and asked what was wrong and he threw up all over... I could not believe this was happening again....He threw up almost the whole night. Same thing he would come in my room and I would rush him to the bathroom and he would throw up! I got 3 loads of laundry done last night. The 5th time he came in I felt his hand I almost crushed him trying to get him to the toilet and nothing.... no throw up... He looked at me with his tear filled eyes and said, "Mommy I just wanted to hold your hand."

I died... and just fell down and hugged him for a while... I kept thinking why is this happening Heavenly Father... again?? This is seriously getting out of hand how many times this has happened to our family this year. I ended up praying saying,  "Obviously we are not suppose to be getting better so what do I need to learn from this that I am not learning, so my kids can finally be healthy? "

So without any sleep for honestly I don't know how long... I dragged myself out of bed to get the kids some breakfast... Cash seemed all the way better... I think he threw up the berries! Something must have really unsettled his stomach. Anyways I found an extra boost of energy. We worked out and I even got in the shower before 9pm! HA I vacuumed and sanitized everything, did more laundry, AND seemed to not get angry when Cash gave Belle a fat lip and spilled a whole bottle of kitchen soap all over the stairs and carpet, and when Belle told Cash after he was crying and trying to get to me... in a very creepy voice she said, "Moms not here.... she is dead!!!"

Yep.... Nap time finally came after lots of fighting "wrestling" in other words and I found myself remembering how tired I am... I got the kids down and feed Paige and all 3 children were asleep.

I called my Mom- Of course she found a way to answer my "why" question. I have found a new perspective and courage not just to throw in the towel. She found a scripture that made me understand trials a lot more. Sometimes the "why" questions seem to flood my mind.... but instead this time it's just as simple answer of it's not what I am not learning or what I am not doing right it's how I react or "survive" that may someday help another. Life is tricky... and very hard... filled with mystery... filled with sadness. But it is also filled with such happiness, laughter, and good things that seem to push out the bad. Like example.... the surprises I get when I Feed Paige.... Cash dressing himself in Belle's dresses and bawling his eyes out when I tell him to take it off before Dad sees him! Or when Belle runs out of her bed for the 50th time and me frustrated as all get out just to tell me she missed me and needed a hug. Or when I see her push a kid down for hurting Cash and telling the boy that pushed him to "never touch her brother again"... I probably shouldn't be proud of that- but I am. I won't tell Her that!  

Yeah life has been hard for me lately especially never seeing Monkey till dinner but to just have him come home to study... but I have found how much MORE I love Monkey everyday. He is so kind and tries so hard and gives up so much for us. He is always finding ways to help me. Also when I am getting screamed at for not going quick enough to get a drink for the kids I find that I still laugh, then teach them a lesson on kindness and patience, then smile because I am so grateful to have my 3 monsters!

So I guess as crazy as this sounds I am grateful for my trials... You really can see what people are made of... and each person in this sickly family I am so proud of! I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for them and for people who are always praying for us and for a Mom that always makes me want to be better.

Viral Meningitis

So last week on Monday and Tuesday was one of the most bazaar 2 days of my life... out of no where I hit a temp of 103 degrees and got very sick. I had a awful head ache and I just ached all over, the slightest touch bothered me . I got so dizzy- I felt so bad for Monkey because he walked in and I had layed on the ground lifeless haha and toys were everywhere, a blanket was on my head that Belle so lovingly put on me to help me, Paige was still in her stroller, and the kids were running wild for I think a couple hours- I was so out of it I just layed there. Monkey walked into this beautiful sight and tried to walk me upstairs and I completely passed out and wet my pants- as embarrassing as that is I did. I got in bed my body was burning up and I could not get warm I was shaking because I was so cold.... anyways long story short I was really sick for 2 days and got better very quickly I believe on pure prayers of my family and friends!


Now to the important part... all last week I was getting pretty concerned about Paige... All through each night she for some reason could not get comfortable. She had major gas and would cry in pain every time I would move her. I thought something was up but just thought she was having major pain with gas. I tried eating really good so whatever I was eating wouldn't bother her, but it didn't seem to help. So 11:30pm this last Tuesday night Paige all of a sudden spiked a 103 temp herself. I got really worried I tried to console her the best I could. Finally around 4:30am I called the doctor and she told me a temperature for a baby under 2 months is not a good sign and to rush her into the ER....


So I grabbed clothes and panic stricken drove to the ER... Poor Paige was just screaming- the only way to get her to calm down was if I held her close to my face and talked to her. I have no idea how to explain how I felt, as dramatic as this is I felt as if someone was ripping my heart out of my chest. My heart went out to every parent that has had to do this with their child. The nurses gave her and iv and the pain Paige was feeling was so severe... I could barely keep it together watching the nurses try to take blood samples...


So hours of testing and trying to figure out what was going on with Paige- her temp dropped a bit so we were sent home. During the next hours at home Paige got worse and her body turned the color of a lobster. She was burning up... I called the doctor telling them even with medicine her temp was getting higher. They told me to get to the ER immediately... They warned me that this was not good, they said usually infants that have a temperature that won't break or won't get better with medicine means they have a bacteria, which could be deadly. They obviously told me that it also could be something viral.


As quick as possible I got things together and our neighbor James came over to help Monkey give our sweet Paige another blessing. As we were about to begin my good friend Kristen stopped by. Absolutely I believe Heavenly Father sent her. All of us in the room James gave Paige a blessing. Paige could not stop screaming. The touch of Monkey and James's hands on her head hurt her so bad. Looking at my baby like this I felt as if I were going to break apart. I started covering my face in shear panic and Kristen came and hugged me while she was crying, which saved me from loosing it completely.


After the blessing Kristen told us to leave and Belle and Cash would be taken care of no matter how long. We booked it back to the ER and more test began. The nurses gave her another iv... I started to notice that Paige every time she was being touched would start rapidly shaking almost like she was having a seizure or something. Poor Monkey could not handle it, he could not take her being in any pain and almost passed out. The doctor came in to do a spinal tap on Paige and Monkey left the room and went into a little room where he could not hear her cry. I stayed and held Paige's hands and talked right into her face... I could not hold back my  tears. She just stared at me, tears pouring down her face, and her look I don't think I will ever forget.


The nurses started Paige on a medicine that completely kills any bacteria in the body. After we headed upstairs to stay in the hospital for 48 hours or longer if needed to finish up her 48 hour bacteria killing antibiotic and wait for her test results. After things were settled Monkey went home. That night Paige cried in pain... the nurses had to come do vitals every hour and came in more and more to make sure her temp wasn't getting higher. I held Paige so close... praying my heart out. I know Heavenly Father was with us because I told my Mom what was going on and seconds later got text after text of family and friends saying they were praying for Paige or they called the temple to put her name on the prayer roll.


Paige got through the night but her temperature was still so high. This was 30 plus hours now of a straight temperature. I somehow felt peace, I knew she was going to be okay. I held her little out control heated body all day just waiting for some kind of answer to what was happening. Belle and Cash came to visit. It was so hard for Belle to see Paige like that... she cried when she saw Paige's iv. Cash was more interested if the hospital had a snack he could eat! I felt so sad for Monkey it was his birthday... They left and Monkey couldn't take being away from Paige and came back that night. I ordered him a hummus plate! Happy Birthday Monk. He did get a great gift though that night Paige's temp dropped a bit. 

The next day the Doctor came in to tell me some results that came from the spinal tap. He told me Paige had Viral Meningitis. I had no clue what that even was. He explained that Viral Meningitis is an inflammation of the meninges, the membranes that cover the brain and spinal cord, it is a a largely benign disease. He told me the symptoms of this are High fever, Severe headache, Neck and shoulder pain, Sensitivity to light, Confusion, Sleepiness, Seizures, sensitivity to touch, etc. I told him about my sickness the week before and he told me I had Viral Meningitis and most likely passed it to her. I felt so horrible- I obviously cried. He said he would like to continue to keep Paige in the hospital over night and through the next day because he does not know if she also had the bacteria meningitis on top of the viral. So we played the waiting game.

The next day Paige's fever broke!!!! She was so happy. She even smiled at all the people checking her vitals. Paige was getting better. I was 99% sure she did not have the Bacteria Meningitis. So we spent the day watching Bonanza and the I love Lucy show, eating veggie burgers, and sippin down some grape juice! I was so ready to take Paige home, but I don't think as ready as Monkey was to get Paige home. The results came and she was bacteria free and we were free to go home. Monkey got to the hospital came in the room, I was changing Paige's diaper- Monkey basically pushed me aside and finished changing her diaper and just hugged her. 


We finally got home... 3 days later! Home never felt so good! I came home to freshly picked black berries (from fun Aunt Kristen, Belle calls her),  freshly picked purple flowers thanks to Belle and Cash, Dinner made and brought by Julie, and Joleane my friends incredible homemade bread! I found out that when I left my family had meals brought (Karen, Julie, Susy!) to them every night and my kids taken care of (Kristen/Joleane) when Monkey had to take a final. 


Even though I never what to go through that again I will always be grateful for what I learned... I have some seriously SELFLESS incredible friends and family! I can't thank them enough for being there for my kids and husband when I could not. Or coming as quick as possible to give Paige a blessing (James). What stress and burden that was lifted when I did not have to worry one bit about home. Thank you all so much! I feel like I am forever in their debt! I am seriously overwhelmed by the power of prayer and the love of family. My family held a fast for us and I got hundreds of texts and phone calls telling me that we were in thoughts, prayers, and so willing to help with anything no matter how crazy the request. I have found a heart tugging respect (if that makes sense) and my heart goes to those families that have had their children in the hospital- I will be praying everyday for those in the hospital and for their families. I have had my testimony grow so much. My Heavenly Father is so aware of me and my family and especially my little Paige! He is aware of everyone. 

 This picture was taken after her fever broke. Paige was so much more happy. The nurses had to put a cast thing over her iv arm because Paige would brake the boards that were holding her arm straight.

 Here are my well groomed children coming to visit their sister! They both looked homeless. Well Monkey didn't look much better... haha sorry babe! And Belle's hair looked like a rats nest and smelt like one too, except Cash did smell like baby lotion. I guess he poured half the bottle on his face earlier that day! Monkey just laughed and said, "Well at least we had fun!"

 Happy Birthday Monkey! Have a hummus plate!

When we got home I could only hold Paige to feed her. Monkey would not let her out of his sight. It was almost like he couldn't find peace without holding her, knowing she was okay. This whole thing was very hard for him, very hard. I can only imagine how he felt not being able to be by Paige's side. That would almost be harder. I am so grateful though that he was able to be home with the kids. I thank his teachers and clinic people for being so understanding!

Paige's Blessing

Yesterday our Paige was blessed. I don't know what it is about baby blessings, but it makes everything so special. Paige's blessing was beautiful... Monkey did such a sweet blessing. The parts I never want to for get is he blessed her to have a pure desire to want to follow the example of the Savior. He blessed her to have kindness for not only those she knows but everyone. He blessed her that she will make a big difference in this world. I also was very grateful that she got blessed with physically health!! Which means a lot to me. The Mullins family (Chloris, Mark, and Nate) were able to share this day with us. Chloris made Paige the most beautiful blessing dress. Paige looked seriously like an angel! It was such a beautiful dress, I can't thank Chloris enough for making it for her. It was incredible.

After church we came home... of course took more pictures and ate some good pulled pork sandwiches, and they kids seemed to not leave Grandpas side or Grandma at that! Chloris brought the 100 year old blessing dress of I think her grandma or great grandma that all family who want to be blessed in it can or can take pictures in it. Belle has some with this antique dress! Now Paige. I am in love with this dress it is beauty throughout the ages! I love it.

I am so overwhelmed with gratitude for our little sweetheart! Paige is such a blessing and already so full of smiles! I can't wait to see how Paige ends up being. If she turns out how her blessing says she is going to be she will be a "rock". I love you Paige!