Monday, October 12, 2009
Mondays Appointment
Well todays appointment didn't go like I thought....I went in thinking that this special ultrasound would be able to tell exactly if we had to worry about trisomy 18, it didn't go quite like that. I went in and we did a normal ultrasound just like we did the previous week, which I thought was weird! and just like last week the baby looked great! which I was a bit confused cause I was like we knew the baby was just as big a healthy last week as it is now and you told me then there might be something wrong! So anyways we proceed through the ultra sound and I am thinkning they are going to give me a 100% answer if yes our baby has it or no our baby does not. So finally at the end she said your baby looks fine but we can do this test where we get amnioctic fluid out of the placenta and test it so you can know for sure... I got so frustrated cause the Doctor couldn't tell me if our baby carried the diease. They explained the test to me and told me that it could cause a miscarriage............................. UMMMMM yeah right! I was not going to do that test. Then she explained how each month through the rest of my pregnancy they were going to do more ultrasounds and keep close track on how the baby grows. If the baby stops growing over these months then most likely has trisomy 18. I asked tons of questions... one was if the baby didn't have trisomy 18 could anything else be wrong??? She said mostly likely if this isn't the case something might be wrong with my placenta...it might stop working (like what happen with Belle), or there might be things wrong with the chromosomes... she listed a couple of things... Anyways I left feeling worse and the peaceful feeling I had... COMPLETELY GONE! had the biggest break down when I got back into the car, (I felt so bad for my mom and dad, my mom thought someone died and my dad thought I needed to go into a home for the crazy). I wish I hadn't because of the blessing I recieved.... I know everything will be well with our boy... I just hate having to go through each month praying that our baby keeps growing when I thought I would know today! I feel like it just prelonged everything! It is a very uneasy feeling but at the same time I know things will be ok! I am just grateful that our baby is ok this month, and I am going to try to keep that attitude till my baby comes!!! And I know he will be okay! So I am apologizing now if I act a bit worried or a bit weak here and there- it is hard just having having that nervous feeling everytime I go to the doctor. I am trying just not to worry cause honestly I know there isn't anything to worry about!! Belle was a huge scare too and she turned out perfect... no problems at all! And now that I have calmed down I thought, I bet the doctor today really felt like there was nothing wrong but had to tell me she didn't know for sure and we are just doing ultrasounds each month to be safe.... Who knows!!! maybe I am suppose to learn a little patience or some kind of lesson like that... But whatever happens like everyone has said, it will turn out how it is suppose to. Thank you everyone so much for your prayers and awesome thoughts you have given me!!! You all are such strengths to me and I know I can talk to any of you if I need to! EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE! I am so happy our baby looks good now! Faith is better than any doctors tests or fear!
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8 comments:
Things will be okay! You've been on our minds and in our hearts and prayers all day. We know you guys have a phenomenal support system, but if there's anything we can do to help, let us know.
We love you Mamie and Monkey and Belle! Hang in tight! We know things will turn out okay in the end! If you need anything at all, please let us know! We love you and you are in our prayers.
Mamie you are so strong, and what the heck are you apologizing for?! Are you kidding?? You have every right to seem anxious or nervous or anything at all during this time!
We will definitely be keeping you and your baby boy in our prayers! That has got to be so hard to wonder each month how it's going to turn out. But like you said, it will all workout, and faith is so much better. Your Savior knows exactly what you're going through and will always be there!
Mamie, we went through a really big scare when I was pregnant with Nathan, (I'll have to tell you about it sometime) and it wasn't that we didn't have faith, I was just sad and uneasy that HE would have to go through some things as a baby and child and that was the part that really hurt. He turned out perfectly fine just like your little boy will too. We fasted for you guys and are constantly praying for you. There is nothing worse than worrying and letting the best of the worry get to you. It's hard as a mom not to do that sometimes but like you said, everything will be fine. Love you guys!
Mamie, it's your cousin Christi. I'm so sorry hear you are going through this. I know that it doesn't help to hear that everything will be okay, because you wouldn't be scared right now if there were no risk of anything going wrong. Try and get lots of support and don't let people be dimissive of your worries. You wouldn't be a good mom if you weren't worried and it's your job to protect your children, but you can't do anything but hope for the best. Of course you are having a hard time! My prayers are with you and your baby. Love you lots!
Mamie, it's your cousin Christi. I'm so sorry hear you are going through this. I know that it doesn't help to hear that everything will be okay, because you wouldn't be scared right now if there were no risk of anything going wrong. Try and get lots of support and don't let people be dimissive of your worries. You wouldn't be a good mom if you weren't worried and it's your job to protect your children, but you can't do anything but hope for the best. Of course you are having a hard time! My prayers are with you and your baby. Love you lots!
Mamie & Monkey,
We love you guys. You're in our prayers too. Just remember the Lord doesn't let us be tried more than we can handle. You two are obviously amazing and will learn and grow so much. Things will work out the way they should. You have lots of support and a special gift to comfort you! Love you!!
Hey mamie,
I was just catching up on everyones blog, I wish i was there in rexburg to come help you. I know how you are feeling though and it sucks that with every ultrasound and doctors appointment there could be something bad. Aren't you so grateful for Heavenly father and the gospel? I know that is the only reason i am getting through my pregnancy at the moment. I hope you are doing well. I wish i could give you a great big hug right now. i am glad to hear that they didn't see anything, that is a really good sign.
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