First 2 weeks at home...

Where do I begin.... Lets just say I have no idea how mothers with more than two kids and less then 2 helpers do it! I am slowly very slowly finding out how.... VERY SLOWLY! We got home from the hospital and the infesto began. Cash had already been sick when I went into the hospital, but he continued to throw up and diarrhea a lot! Then it passed to Monkey where between mid-night feedings would have to book it to the bathroom. He got so sick. Good thing my sister Tanna flew in that evening to help because the amazing person she is took the kids the whole next day and I was able to rest. So Tanna was definitely  a sight for sore eyes!!! Paige is a great sleeper in the day... Like any newborn she has her nights and days mixed up! She likes to have an hour to sometimes a half of pure nursing! Which I can't stand haha I tried give her the whole pacifier after 35 mins but she would just scream until I fed her again. so 2:30-4am Paige and I get some seriously bonding time! Cash has had an extremely hard time having Paige at home. First of all he was sick so all he wanted to do is have me hold him which new born equals it didn't happen much! Cash gave me the most heart wrenching scare of my life though.....

I had Paige asleep in Belle and Cash's room so Monkey wouldn't get her sick and the rest of us were downstairs. Then Tanna was going to take the kids out so Belle and Cash went up to get their shoes out of their room. Me forgetting Paige was asleep in there. Anyways Belle comes down we are waiting for Cash and then all I hear is BOOOOOOOOOOM AND A TERRIFYING SCREAM! I FLEW OFF MY CHAIR... I have never in my life ran so fast. Tanna said it looked like my feet didn't even touch the stairs. I got into the room and Cash had scratched Paige's face and picked her out of her car seat and threw her on her head like 2 feet away. I grabbed Paige trying to have her stop crying and Cash realizing what he did was terrible started panic crying. Ohhhh my heart was in my throat for like hours after that. I held back tears for like a day. Eww it still makes me sick thinking about it. I feel so bad for Cash... He honestly can not handle if he is not touching me or if I am not holding him. He won't listen to anything I say to save his life! Most the day he is grabbing my pants screaming for me to hold him, "Mama I need you" he says over and over... It is so sad I try my hardest to help. But how on earth am I suppose to do this. Cash keeps coming over to me when I am nursing Paige and tries to rip her off and push her off my lap. Finally yesterday after a very non sleeping night,   Cash grabbing the laundry out of my hands and throwing it across the room, grabbing so hard to my neck cause he won't let anyone take him... and looking like this....

I decided Cash needed some Mom time so we went to the park just me and him for a while! Dad showed up too. We slid down the slide, swung, ran everywhere playing trying to get each other, laid in the grass and looked at clouds, and made flower bracelets. It was so needed for the both of us... He looked at me when we got home and smiled and said, "Mama you ran!" I said, "Did that make you happy?" He smiled so big... a smile I haven't seen in a while and said so softly, "yes!"


Belle on the other hand has been absolutely AMAZING!!! Who would have thought! No fits, yelling, she is listening so well, etc! 100% Angel! She also said something funny... I was picking up her or something and she says, "Mom I am so happy you can bend down again!!!" Hahah me too Belle! Belle has been so good with Paige. She loves having her at home. She loves to hold her and is so gentle! I am so grateful for her this week!! And I feel so sad too... Last night after I feed Paige at midnight and again at 2am-3:30am I went into check Belle and she had thrown up on her walls, carpet, blankets, animals, and herself. I wanted to cry for her. First Cash then Monkey and now her. I got her going in the laundry and got her in the bath. She has been coughing again pretty Bad! I feel so sad, Tanna was going to take her to the zoo but obviously she isn't going anywhere for a bit. I can't believe Paige has not gotten sick.


June 29, 2012
Well it had to happen.... and I am only glad it lasted 24 hours but Tanna and I got super sick.... like flu bug man! Paige didn't sleep well again... newborn it's expected.... but all night I was starting to feel terrible and apparently so did Tanna... So Through the night bathroom visits between the both of us. Monkey skipped his classes and took the kids and I was oblivious to anything but Paige when I had to feed her. Monkey wanted the kids to go play at someones house for the afternoon but they were coughing and Cash had some major runs so I said No! What Mama says happens, right Monkey! Anyways I took a deep breathe and while Monkey was gone from 1-6pm I watched movie after movie with the kids- Belle laid there and Cash just needed lots of love and snacks- and Paige needed lots of milk!!! So I tried my best to not completely loose my mind.... Anyways around 5pm I get a knock at my door and there was no way on earth I was going to open it... All of a sudden I hear, "It's just me Mamie!" It was my friend Julie who dropped what she was doing and brought over dinner. She walked in went straight to my kitchen put things together and offered to do so much to help. She even said if I couldn't function she could be with Paige while I rested. Wow! What a friend! I felt so grateful for her. I have no idea how she even heard that everyone in my house was so sick- word of mouth I'm guessing. But that meant a lot to me. It is such a small thing but so incredibly HUGE to me! I got so blessed in another way as well I went to my bed at 7pm and fed Paige at 9pm and 11:30pm and then she slept till 6am! I needed that so much! I feel so good today... I got Cash and Belle's room clean, laundry done, bathroom done, and kitchen! Talk about accomplishment for me! I am so grateful that Tanna is also feeling so much better today. The kids are still coughing but this year that just seems to be a normal thing for them. Can I just say one of my number one things to be grateful for is health!

July 2, 2012

I am speechless... I really don't know if I should cry my eyes out or laugh my head off! Cash for the past 3 nights has spiked a temp, cried in pain, sweat, had major diarrhea, and threw up once or twice during the night. Last night was the worst- probably because our poor Paige had something up with her stomach and could not stop screaming unless I was feeding her. A pacifier did nothing to help. So I stayed up with her till she finally fell asleep around 4am, which she woke up again to eat around 6:30ish. Poor Cash was crying and puking throughout the night and finally fell asleep and woke up 7am. I took Paige to her 2 week check up at 8am and for some reason she had lost weight. So we have to start going into the doctor more frequently to make sure she is gaining weight. After a day by myself with a baby who won't let me put her down, a sick boy, and a hacking coughing daughter.... we headed back to the doctor at 6:30pm for Cash. The doctor said she thought what he was going through was a virus, but since it has lasted 2 weeks she is thinking it may be something else. So he is getting tested for parasites, bacteria, and some other virus. The doctor is nervous because Cash seems to be getting dehydrated... so we have to push liquids as much as possible... or get him to the ER if he gets worse. So when I got home tonight from the doctor Belle was screaming hysterically because Daddy was making her go to bed, Cash was crying because he didn't want to drink water, and Paige was screaming because she was hungry....we finally got our sobbing children in jammies and teeth brushed and we all knelt to say our family prayer and afterwards Monkey and I started laughing out of control. We could not stop. The kids crying realized Mom and Dad had checked into a loopy bin and started laughing themselves.... And we all just laughed...These two weeks have been a joke! Now all three kids are in their beds, and the house is quiet.... And all I can think is what the heck just happened? I have to say- I have a lot to be grateful for... My friends are bringing dinners to me this week, sooo kind! I have all of my 3 children with me. I have not checked into an insane asylum yet. I am not swollen. Monkey is a great father. We are blessed out of our minds. And I got to spend a week and a half with my very generous, very loving, very giving, and very hilarious sister Tanna which seriously devastatingly flew home yesterday. Belle and I cried most the way home from the airport. Thank you Tanna for giving up everything to come to my aid. Thank You Tanna for giggling like a school girl every time you got a text!! WINK WINK! Thank you Tanna for taking care of my children and letting them experience things they have not yet experienced. Thank You Tanna for sharing the bathroom with me all night and all day. Thank You Tanna for EVERYTHING... I appreciate all her help and how we will laugh one day at our Out of control insane week ONE DAY! So now moving on to week 3... maybe there will be at least 2 children who sleep through the night, more playing outside, more happy faces, more happy tummies, A newborn that still loves her mom but will let her put her down for more then a minute, and a more peaceful household and maybe after scrubbing Cash's runs mess out of the carpet for almost an hour we might even have a cleaner/ laundry free house haha maybe!!!! We will see.... fingers crossed.