Happy Birthday Monkey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 But what about Monkey's birthday........ HOLY HEART ATTACK AND A HALF! Let's just start from the beginning! Monkey and I decided to spend his last bday at the Oregon coast at the Warrenton KOA. We booked 2 nights, got lots of yummy food, baked his cake, packed warm and cool clothes, and took off for the most relaxing birthday getaway ever! I planned so many things for us to do. The first day we were going to get to the beach and spend the whole day on the beach, crashing the waves, building sand castles, flying kites, doing a bonfire, watching for whales, the works! It was suppose to be like 75 degrees and perfect. There was not one cloud in the sky. 

For some reason the moment we started packing up the car to leave for the beach our kids started WHINING... Like this - "Mooooom are we going ahhh this is forever!" "I have dirt on my toes" "Cash you are standing in dirt.... get out and you won't have dirt on it!" "AHHHHHHHH I am dirty wash my toe!" Anyways it went on and on... car ride was yelling at me to turn up the music or saying they don't like that song and me telling them all to take a nap before my head pops! Belle told me by rolling her eyes that my head won't pop! So long story short the trip started out interesting! 

We got to KOA set up and went to the beach! The weather was perfect and the kids were crying about not wanting to go to the beach they wanted to stay at KOA! So trying to get them happy and explaining how fun the beach will be I got them to get on the beach. The difference from the beach parking lot and stepping into the sand was crazy... Perfect cloudless weather to freezing sand blasting eye weather! AWFUL is all I have to say. We lasted 20 mins and tried to find some beach that wasn't going to kill us and trying to hold my tongue before I screamed cause my kids were complaining so bad!! They fell asleep and we drove back to KOA cause the wind was too strong to play on the beach! 

So to make the best of this not so good start birthday celebration we got our swimming suits on and went swimming! Now that was a blast! The kids almost drowned 50 times cause they love driving under to show me they could hold their breathe! We had a great time and no one complained but Monkey who was afraid for his children's life! After we went to our one room no bathroom cabin and started a fire, which Monkey taught Cash how to start one while I laughed with Belle blowing giant bubbles at Paige! We ate dinner and brought out the cake! Monkey is 28 years old! That's so exciting! The kids were so proud of their Daddy especially because he choose dairy free chocolate cake!

After we got the kids to bed on their bunk beds and Paige's pack n play! I emptied the van took out all the seats and set up the back with pillows, blankets, games, presents, and treats!!!! I tried to make it look like home! We had so much fun and laughed which felt like all night! That was the best part of the day!

The next day I had so many surprise things planned! We were going to ride the Astoria trolley that ran up and down the ocean side! We were going to get Monkey's favorite fish n chips, going to go across the Astoria bridge and go see Cape Disappointment Lighthouse! Which we have always wanted to see. Then we were going to get ice cream and go down to the dock and watch all the huge sea lions bask in the sun! It was going to be great. The kids woke up grumpy since no one in my 5 person family slept in a one room place thanks to Cash and Paige!!! So going to the Lighthouse first was a bad idea... Cause the kids cried and cried that we weren't on the trolley which was not opened yet.... We get to the Lighthouse and being a cheap skate family to see the light house was 10 dollars! So VERY discouraged and tired we didn't walk down to see it! So we went to a look out instead which was near! The kids of course were ticked off that we weren't on the trolley and now we weren't seeing the light house!!!! Don't let the pictures fool you!

So we drove away from the light house, my head pulsing with head ache and me honestly wanting to shout "shut up!" to my whining children! Terrible I know... not a good Mom- least I didn't not do it! So we drove back through the town and saw a farmers market right on the dock! FUN! right!!!? Wrong again..... This was painful for my kids!!!!! It was not the trolley! Trying to get them to be happy and get out of the car was a chore and a half and I was loosing my patience! I finally got them out saying look we could maybe get a snow cone IF we all be happy and start being grateful for what we are doing! They got out and went to the dock and looked at all the little ships! The kids didn't listen to save their life... they almost fell into the water 20 times! I had quite the talk with them.... not very happy and warned them with their lives basically!! haha They shaped up and had fun looking at craw dads and listening to cool musicians! Then they did so good a snow cone was in order till I saw that each was 4 dollars!!!! NO WAY! So I offered to get a huge bag on delicious kettle corn and my kids had a melt down.... and so did I! My patience was almost out the window and Monkey's wasn't all there either! We held it together and put sobbing kids in the car and told them we will get lunch and go on the trolley! They perked right up and I went off on a rampage about how motherhood is out of control... and I have a head ache!

(You can tell that these kids eyes were swollen from crying and this is the 5th picture and they finally smiled cause I said I would eat their popcorn if they didn't!!!!! Rude - I was tired and very upset ok!!!! but I got smiles!)

Now I was so excited to take Monkey to this little gem for lunch. Monkey has been looking for good fish n chips since his mission in England. He talks about it all the time. So I found Bowpicker's and all they serve is award winning fish n chips. So I was so excited we get there and as expected the line is forever and knowing my kids they would never make it! So I decided to give them their lunch pick nick style in the car since we were basically on the road and hardly any grass. The picnic went rather well... everyone was happy and after 30mins monkey wasn't even half way through the line.... So the kids and I decided to get out and walk around and Cash lost his shoe so we are looking everywhere and I put the car keys on the front seat... first mistake.... then we all got out and I said to the kids "hey don't shut the doors cause I don't have the....... SLAMMMMMMM (Belle shuts the car door).... KEYS!!!" We are locked out of the car... EVERYTHING is in the car; money, diapers, food, phones, ummmm keys! I looked at the kids with fire in my eyes... and decided to take a deep breath instead of yell because I am the one who left the keys on the seat. SO not wanting Monkey to get out of line we got into the gas station and the nice man let me use their phone and I called our roadside assistance and the kids were grabbing everything... I am trying to talk to the lady on the phone and I am also trying to keep Paige from throwing herself backwards out of my arms throwing a fit, grabbing cnady bars out of Belle and Cash;s hands, telling them to put that away it's glass, don't rip that or I will have to buy it!!! Night mare! Anyways I get of the phone and the lock dude will be here in 20 mins HAARAY for that! So we got back to Bowpickers and Monkey gets his flippn fish n chips. Then after Monkey Happily eats his chips I decide to wait by the car till the lock man arrives. The kids and Monkey go across the street to explore ships, the river, etc. I sit on the curb and watch them... 20 mmins roll by, the 45 mins, then an hour, then who knows how long and I am watching my family have a blast without me and watching the trolley we are suppose to be on go by at least 4 times. Do I get mad??? No! Just a bit ANTSY! The man arrives and takes forever in the rest room and then pops my lock open. Great. I rush across the street and my kids are all whining and screaming and Cash is loosing his marbles. Like his marbles are LOST! Finally he calmed down because we said we would get to go on the trolley. The trolley came and was packed. We had to wait. Trying to keep Cash sane till the next trolley came was almost impossible! The trolley FINALLY came again and they were even more packed.... So with lost of tears we had to leave. I said we could go get our stinkin dessert and at least we would get to see the sea lions while we ate it...

So I myself go get root beer, root beer float, and 2 ice creams and spent over 20 dollars. I was sooooooooooo bugged but whatever! The ice cream man said I should use a cup holder or I will spill and I said, "no I will be fine thanks"... He then pushed the cup holder at me and said, "you will spill." I get mad a said..."AHHH WHATEVER!" hahah I was a bit over it! I feel bad. Oh well! We bring our dessert down to the dock and it's CLOSED! I almost chucked my float out the window at the sign. We ate our dessert in quiet....

After some serious bad attitude from me we decided to try the beach one more time. It actually ended up really good. No wind and we had a bond fire! Everyone was happy and we all looked like death from being so tired! Cash actually stopped crying for the first time it felt in the day. He was running and havong a blast in the ocean. Paige, him, and I went to walk by the ship wreck. He was so determined to touch it. He went into the ruins of the ship and the water was at his knees. He started walking and I noticed that he was going to walk right into a piece of the ship that was under the water. I said, "CASH stop walking real quick you are going to fall over that piece of ship." he kept walking... "CASH!!! stop your feet, don't move you are going to fall." He walked faster! "CASH STOP WALKING!!!!! He walked right into the ship part and fell face first into the water. His face was so scared and he started Screaming!!! And then the buggest fit of life began..... he would not stop screaming, he would not walk, he would not move, he would not do anything but scream! We dragged him, wood, Paige, towels, and all of our stuff up the dune and tried to not throw him into the next world! She got to camp and they went to bed.... and so did I!!!! Well I tried to with 50 thousand runs to the rest room all night from and upset stomach!!!!! hahahaha ohhHH

 

The next day we went to seaside ward and PAIGE lost her marbles..... she was arching her back on the floor in the halls, banging her head on walls, scratching the freckles off my face, and I almost handed her to a stranger and checked myself into a mental institution.... I had had it..... we got in to car and that was that!!!! hahaha Happy birthday Monkey!