Makin it!

I am so glad to say that we are making it! Hahah The beginning of this week was a killer. I got super sick. I got a temp of 103 and was crazy! I was fainting and doing some crazy stuff... then Belle got sick with a temp  of 104. But finally we are well and have been doing great. Hopefully this sickness will hopefully be our last for a while... we will see. I can't believe Paige is a month old already. It has been a long month but such a wonderful one as well! The kids have been earning money... Belle has gotten fixed on barbies for some reason. One of her friends has lots so she wants some sooo bad. So I told if you want it you earn it!! And boy has she been trying her hardest to do chores around the house, be out of the ordinary kind, share when she really does not want to, not throw fits when we have to come inside from playing, etc. Cash has gotten into this earning money as well- He wants a Buzz Lightyear toy. Don't tell Belle but he so far has made way more money!!! I love watching them fold their clothes, put them away, wash windows, clean side boards, take the trash out, etc. It has cracked me up to see how important it is to them!

This month we also have been going out much more! We got to see some cute baby animals! Belle was in love with a little white baby goat! I thought she wasn't going to leave it's side for bit.

And speaking of cute babies we have had a lot of time loving our Paige! Holy cow is this little girl sweet. She can make me smile so big even when I am sicker than a dog! She looks so much like my our kids but very different. Cash and Belle loved being left alone when they were babies. They slept so good by themselves. They seemed to have a stubborn personality the moment they came out. Paige on the other hand can't stand if I am not holding, touching, sleeping, etc. by her! I can't leave her very long with out her needing me right by  her. She snuggles so much. I will be laying next to her and she some how wiggles right up into my face.

We took her yesterday for her one month check up and she is doing great! She weighs 9 pounds and is 22 inches long now. She has gained a pound each these last 2 weeks! The doctor said she was so alert for how old she is. Paige smiles so much which should happen yet but she smiles!!!

Our whole family is in love with her. We can't quite get enough of her. She has Daddy wrapped around her finger. But so does the other kids as well. Monkey has had to be gone a lot for school and his millions of tests so any second he gets (which usually is late at night) I find him just holding her so close for a moment.

Cash even NOW can't get enough of her... finally! I think he has figured out Paige is going NO WHERE! So he spends as much time in her face saying, "Hello Miss Paige!!" He has turned into quite the protector! Anytime she cries Cash can't handle it. He begs me to help her. I have to be so careful to watch this little guy with her because he wants to hold her constantly!

My favorite time with the kids is after baths before bed... We all snuggle up and read books. Or the kids read books to Paige. I can tell Paige loves Belle and Cash... She smiles at Cash anytime he is in her face and tries to eat Belles nose and makes the cutest sounds when they are talking to her. Belle of course from the beginning has been so perfect with Paige. She really is her second Mom.

Even though this last month has been out of control- I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have come to love these three more than ever! I have seen them grow up a little more. It is hard for me to think how big they are getting. I almost wish they could stay as little as Paige... But then not!!! On to month 2. Paige is getting her baby blessing tomorrow and Chloris made her such a beautiful dress. I am so excited and so proud of these 3!!

Never Again...

To top of these last weeks I had an expierence today that I never want to repeat ever again. Belle has gotten her movies taken away lately because of some serious attitude problems. Belle has to earn her movies back by acting good and being a complete sweetheart. Anyways after 4 days of no movies Belle finally earned a movie this morning. She choose the Great Mouse Detective. So we were watching the movie and Paige woke up and I headed upstairs to feed her....

I was feeding her, changed her, and was getting Paige back to sleep when I heard my neighbor downstairs.... Thank Heavens for her! She told me that she had found my kids in the street and that they were out there for who knows how long. My heart sank.... I ran downstairs thinking they were still in the street and all I could think about is my kids are gone, my kids are gone, and it is all my fault. I totally imagined them getting hit by a car, I felt so helpless. I had so much adrenalin- I was ready to rip a car apart to get to my kids. Thankfully my neighbor brought them inside already and I looked over and they both poke their heads out from behind the couch....

I didn't even know what to do.... they have never gone in the street or walked out my door. They both know better. I took them upstairs ready to be mad and get them in so much trouble but as I was about to speak tears shot out from my eyes. I started to uncontrollably cry... I could not stop. Then Belle started uncontrollably crying and Cash....

Monkey who had been at the store came in and ran up the stairs as quick as he could cause all he heard was everyone in pure hysterics. He came up saying, "What happened, is everyone okay?! Whats going on, what happened?!" Over and over he said this and I could not get it together to tell him. I finally told him and I bawled trying to explain to two toddlers that was not okay and that can not ever happen again. I just grab both of them and wouldn't let them go....

I have never felt such panic, fear, complete horrified feeling as I did today. I seriously thought I lost them for a second. After a while of holding them I have no idea what happened, I lost my mind. I started to hyperventilate. Seriously, I could not breathe. Monkey brought me in on our bed and I guess I turned white as a sheet- and my body started shaking. I just clasped over, I was crying harder and harder and trying to gasp for breathe.... Monkey said he got the kids out of the room and he tried to get me to talk to him and I wouldn't talk back...

After a while he got me back together. He said he felt like I went into complete shock or something. Completely out of control... I know. Apparently to no surprise to anyone I can't handle things very well. I have no idea why I reacted like that when I saw they were okay... Maybe because I hadn't slept for a long bit, maybe because I had fed Paige 3-4 times before taking a drink of water, or maybe because I was feeling so sick the whole morning. Maybe because if anything happened it would've been my fault. Maybe because I love my kids so much but didn't realize how much until I thought they were gone... I don't know I have never done that before.

I felt so grateful for my neighbor, I felt so grateful nothing bad had happened to Cash or Belle, I felt so grateful everything went good instead of the other option that would have been devastating. I know this seems completely over reacting but man it was not fun. I feel a bit overwhelmed... being a parents of two I can do... Being a parent of three has been very difficult for me so far. I know it will get easier. I know I can do this but I am feeling very inadequate.

So lesson I learned is cherish your love ones... or everyone at that! Even if the day before you felt like you needed a long holiday away from them or maybe even selling them to the gypsies! Love them!

Cabin Fever!

Ok our little family has had some serious cabin fever.... Since Paige was born we haven't gone out much and from the kids being constantly sick we have found ourselves home! Enough is enough... even though both kids were coughing we decided to go out. 

We have been taking walks. Belle is hilarious... she has to be wearing the most princess like outfit she can find for the day. So for our stroll she looked darling in her dress up dress and boots!

We also decided to go see Madagascar 3 in the middle of the day so we would not disturb anyone. There was one other family there besides us and we had so much fun. We played around in the cinema for a bit. The car racing game was everyone's favorite. I thought Monkey was going to push the kids off for a minute because he was enjoying it so much! The kids did awesome in the movie.... I packed little snack bags of animal crackers, starbursts, and a sour candy... with a water bottle that Cash dumped over the floor and once he was done with his treats he was done with the movie! So Paige, Cash, and I spent the half of the movie back on the car racing game! Cash pretended it was a kitchen and he was making me bagels! So for now on Belle will be going to the movies and Cash can play kitchen at home!

Then we packed up the next day.... which I feel I pack a months worth of stuff to go anywhere... and we headed to the beach. Paige's first time. I was so happy I packed winter clothes for Paige because at a point it was deceivingly cold! It looked like 90 degrees but felt like 10 degrees for a while!

For our family there is no place quite like the beach. Our grumpy attitudes turn into pure happiness and smiles! So no wonder we go so much! I think we over did it a bit because the next couple days Belle threw up all over her floor... and the next day threw up all over the car! Yes I am getting very good at cleaning up throw up! Which I am not very proud of but you got to do what you got to do! Belle and Cash today seem so much better. I haven't heard their coughs for a couple days- KNOCK ON WOOD! No one has thrown up for 2 days and the runs seem to be running away! So I think we may be over the hump!! I can't express how grateful I am for health or how important it is! I can't express the joy it has been to have Paige be in our family now! Today was such an exciting day... she was awake and I was talking to her and she did her first huge smile! Ohhhh I almost died! Paige is seriously such a sweet heart... Her tiny little body and huge blue eyes seriously make me just melt! I love it so much. I love how Belle and Cash now just love her and can't get enough. Belle is so good with her. If I had to leave I would trust her to take just as good of care of Paige as I would.... and Cash just won't stop touching her and saying, "Paige is so cute!" She is and I am so happy to have her!

4th of July

(I didn't know which one I liked better.... zoomed up or not... so I put them both!)

Our 4th of July this year was awesome... we got to spend it with Mark and Chloris "Grandma and Grandpa"! And spend it with little Paige(I am still in shock that I have 3 kids...3! And I love them all so so much).  When the Mullins got here you think celebrities entered the buliding... my goodness! Cash and Belle looooooooove their grandparents. They could not stop hugging them. And I have to say their Grandparents loooooove them! Grandpa was wrestling with them, throwing them, chasing them, and playing hide in go seek. Grandma was soaking in some Paige time and then busted out hide n seek! My kids are so lucky to have these Grandparents. I was so lucky/happy that Cash and Belle seemed healthy enough to do stuff. We went to the park and had a picnic and played awhile. My favorite is the picture of Belle with her cheetos and pineapple plate... typical if I let her dish up her own plate. We spent the rest of the day just enjoying each other. Later Mark and Chloris had to leave which is always so sad and that night after a late nap we headed just around the corner at 10pm for a seriously awesome firework show. Belle wanted to go home the first 5 minutes because it was too loud... I ended up plugging her ears the whole time so she would stay. I was so impressed with the show! Today I have a lot to be grateful for.....But obviously I am for our freedom and for the people that gave everything to give it to us! I love the USA!!

Father's Day

Reasons Belle and Cash love their Dad:

1. B- I love him to take me to the park
2. C- I love Daddy because he is beautiful

3. B- I love when he does funny things... funny things with his mouth
4. C- I like him brush his teeth

5. B- I try to give Daddy kisses on his lips... (giggling) I try! He is handsome... I think I am his wife!!
6. C- Dad makes me happy when I crack me head

7. B- My favorite thing about Dad is when he wrestles me and he makes me smile when he laughs at me and I laugh at him.
8. C- Dad makes me laugh when when he's a baby

9. B- I love when Dad tells me stories when he was little and he snuggles me
10.C- I love Dad Because I Love tiny.. and he goes to hospital

11. B- Dad makes me happy when he gives me cereal
12. C- I like Daddy's food

13. B- How he curls his toes... I don't know why he does that!
14. C- My favorite thing about Daddy is taking me on Daddy days

15- Because you are you!!! I love you so much Monkey. I had a blast celebrating Father's Day with you. I loved waking you up and having breakfast... egg casserole and champagne glasses filled with OJ! The kids were more excited than me.... and that hardly happens! I loved watching you open your gifts with the kids right on your lap. They were giggling when you opened Pride and Prejudice the movie because they knew it was what I wanted and not you. At least you got shirts and chocolate as well! I loved spending the whole day by your side. I loved having dinner at Kristen and Scott's with The Vega's and Champions- we had some delicious ribs! And a killer ice cream bar cake that was to die for, that you and I both wanted to sneak home.... Thank you Kristen!! I just love you Monkey.... More than you can imagine. What an incredible Father we have in our home... We all love you so much. Happy Father's Day!

And here is a video tribute to my own Dad!!! I love you so much!!

First 2 weeks at home...

Where do I begin.... Lets just say I have no idea how mothers with more than two kids and less then 2 helpers do it! I am slowly very slowly finding out how.... VERY SLOWLY! We got home from the hospital and the infesto began. Cash had already been sick when I went into the hospital, but he continued to throw up and diarrhea a lot! Then it passed to Monkey where between mid-night feedings would have to book it to the bathroom. He got so sick. Good thing my sister Tanna flew in that evening to help because the amazing person she is took the kids the whole next day and I was able to rest. So Tanna was definitely  a sight for sore eyes!!! Paige is a great sleeper in the day... Like any newborn she has her nights and days mixed up! She likes to have an hour to sometimes a half of pure nursing! Which I can't stand haha I tried give her the whole pacifier after 35 mins but she would just scream until I fed her again. so 2:30-4am Paige and I get some seriously bonding time! Cash has had an extremely hard time having Paige at home. First of all he was sick so all he wanted to do is have me hold him which new born equals it didn't happen much! Cash gave me the most heart wrenching scare of my life though.....

I had Paige asleep in Belle and Cash's room so Monkey wouldn't get her sick and the rest of us were downstairs. Then Tanna was going to take the kids out so Belle and Cash went up to get their shoes out of their room. Me forgetting Paige was asleep in there. Anyways Belle comes down we are waiting for Cash and then all I hear is BOOOOOOOOOOM AND A TERRIFYING SCREAM! I FLEW OFF MY CHAIR... I have never in my life ran so fast. Tanna said it looked like my feet didn't even touch the stairs. I got into the room and Cash had scratched Paige's face and picked her out of her car seat and threw her on her head like 2 feet away. I grabbed Paige trying to have her stop crying and Cash realizing what he did was terrible started panic crying. Ohhhh my heart was in my throat for like hours after that. I held back tears for like a day. Eww it still makes me sick thinking about it. I feel so bad for Cash... He honestly can not handle if he is not touching me or if I am not holding him. He won't listen to anything I say to save his life! Most the day he is grabbing my pants screaming for me to hold him, "Mama I need you" he says over and over... It is so sad I try my hardest to help. But how on earth am I suppose to do this. Cash keeps coming over to me when I am nursing Paige and tries to rip her off and push her off my lap. Finally yesterday after a very non sleeping night,   Cash grabbing the laundry out of my hands and throwing it across the room, grabbing so hard to my neck cause he won't let anyone take him... and looking like this....

I decided Cash needed some Mom time so we went to the park just me and him for a while! Dad showed up too. We slid down the slide, swung, ran everywhere playing trying to get each other, laid in the grass and looked at clouds, and made flower bracelets. It was so needed for the both of us... He looked at me when we got home and smiled and said, "Mama you ran!" I said, "Did that make you happy?" He smiled so big... a smile I haven't seen in a while and said so softly, "yes!"


Belle on the other hand has been absolutely AMAZING!!! Who would have thought! No fits, yelling, she is listening so well, etc! 100% Angel! She also said something funny... I was picking up her or something and she says, "Mom I am so happy you can bend down again!!!" Hahah me too Belle! Belle has been so good with Paige. She loves having her at home. She loves to hold her and is so gentle! I am so grateful for her this week!! And I feel so sad too... Last night after I feed Paige at midnight and again at 2am-3:30am I went into check Belle and she had thrown up on her walls, carpet, blankets, animals, and herself. I wanted to cry for her. First Cash then Monkey and now her. I got her going in the laundry and got her in the bath. She has been coughing again pretty Bad! I feel so sad, Tanna was going to take her to the zoo but obviously she isn't going anywhere for a bit. I can't believe Paige has not gotten sick.


June 29, 2012
Well it had to happen.... and I am only glad it lasted 24 hours but Tanna and I got super sick.... like flu bug man! Paige didn't sleep well again... newborn it's expected.... but all night I was starting to feel terrible and apparently so did Tanna... So Through the night bathroom visits between the both of us. Monkey skipped his classes and took the kids and I was oblivious to anything but Paige when I had to feed her. Monkey wanted the kids to go play at someones house for the afternoon but they were coughing and Cash had some major runs so I said No! What Mama says happens, right Monkey! Anyways I took a deep breathe and while Monkey was gone from 1-6pm I watched movie after movie with the kids- Belle laid there and Cash just needed lots of love and snacks- and Paige needed lots of milk!!! So I tried my best to not completely loose my mind.... Anyways around 5pm I get a knock at my door and there was no way on earth I was going to open it... All of a sudden I hear, "It's just me Mamie!" It was my friend Julie who dropped what she was doing and brought over dinner. She walked in went straight to my kitchen put things together and offered to do so much to help. She even said if I couldn't function she could be with Paige while I rested. Wow! What a friend! I felt so grateful for her. I have no idea how she even heard that everyone in my house was so sick- word of mouth I'm guessing. But that meant a lot to me. It is such a small thing but so incredibly HUGE to me! I got so blessed in another way as well I went to my bed at 7pm and fed Paige at 9pm and 11:30pm and then she slept till 6am! I needed that so much! I feel so good today... I got Cash and Belle's room clean, laundry done, bathroom done, and kitchen! Talk about accomplishment for me! I am so grateful that Tanna is also feeling so much better today. The kids are still coughing but this year that just seems to be a normal thing for them. Can I just say one of my number one things to be grateful for is health!

July 2, 2012

I am speechless... I really don't know if I should cry my eyes out or laugh my head off! Cash for the past 3 nights has spiked a temp, cried in pain, sweat, had major diarrhea, and threw up once or twice during the night. Last night was the worst- probably because our poor Paige had something up with her stomach and could not stop screaming unless I was feeding her. A pacifier did nothing to help. So I stayed up with her till she finally fell asleep around 4am, which she woke up again to eat around 6:30ish. Poor Cash was crying and puking throughout the night and finally fell asleep and woke up 7am. I took Paige to her 2 week check up at 8am and for some reason she had lost weight. So we have to start going into the doctor more frequently to make sure she is gaining weight. After a day by myself with a baby who won't let me put her down, a sick boy, and a hacking coughing daughter.... we headed back to the doctor at 6:30pm for Cash. The doctor said she thought what he was going through was a virus, but since it has lasted 2 weeks she is thinking it may be something else. So he is getting tested for parasites, bacteria, and some other virus. The doctor is nervous because Cash seems to be getting dehydrated... so we have to push liquids as much as possible... or get him to the ER if he gets worse. So when I got home tonight from the doctor Belle was screaming hysterically because Daddy was making her go to bed, Cash was crying because he didn't want to drink water, and Paige was screaming because she was hungry....we finally got our sobbing children in jammies and teeth brushed and we all knelt to say our family prayer and afterwards Monkey and I started laughing out of control. We could not stop. The kids crying realized Mom and Dad had checked into a loopy bin and started laughing themselves.... And we all just laughed...These two weeks have been a joke! Now all three kids are in their beds, and the house is quiet.... And all I can think is what the heck just happened? I have to say- I have a lot to be grateful for... My friends are bringing dinners to me this week, sooo kind! I have all of my 3 children with me. I have not checked into an insane asylum yet. I am not swollen. Monkey is a great father. We are blessed out of our minds. And I got to spend a week and a half with my very generous, very loving, very giving, and very hilarious sister Tanna which seriously devastatingly flew home yesterday. Belle and I cried most the way home from the airport. Thank you Tanna for giving up everything to come to my aid. Thank You Tanna for giggling like a school girl every time you got a text!! WINK WINK! Thank you Tanna for taking care of my children and letting them experience things they have not yet experienced. Thank You Tanna for sharing the bathroom with me all night and all day. Thank You Tanna for EVERYTHING... I appreciate all her help and how we will laugh one day at our Out of control insane week ONE DAY! So now moving on to week 3... maybe there will be at least 2 children who sleep through the night, more playing outside, more happy faces, more happy tummies, A newborn that still loves her mom but will let her put her down for more then a minute, and a more peaceful household and maybe after scrubbing Cash's runs mess out of the carpet for almost an hour we might even have a cleaner/ laundry free house haha maybe!!!! We will see.... fingers crossed.