Monkeys

          I have no idea why I am writing this but I have had this on my mind for a long time and after recent events I just have to say something…. Why is it such a monumental deal to be completely perfect and skinny? As long as I can remember people have commented about my weight, other people’s weight, and their own weight.  Lately every time I hang out with people  all our conversations are JUST about how FAT they are feeling, or how they wish they fit into a size 2, or “oh my love handles are so huge!”, or I am pregnant and I am just so fat and I feel so disgusting, or my favorite thing people say is “if I can lose 2 more pants sizes or even 20 more pounds THEN I will be happy and I will look good!”

            I am so sick of this… I am so sick of people thinking that they are not good enough. I am so sick of people thinking people who are “FAT” aren’t beautiful. I am so sick of hearing that people will finally be happy when they don’t look how they do now. I completely agree that it is so important to be healthy and work out… It’s is SO important to be healthy and take care of your body… but I DO NOT AGREE that if you are bigger- then you are disgusting, bad, not good enough, ugly, FAT, or any of the words that I have heard lately of people describing themselves. I went through a time where all I thought about was how fat I was and how I have to get smaller so I can be hotter. I did this because a boy said I was hotter when I was smaller. After a short time I got one of the biggest eye openers… I came home to the news that one of my dearest friend was in the hospital from the same weight issue I was having. She was completely weak and completely skin and bones from not eating (it freaked me out) and doctors were threatening to put tubes in her if she didn’t eat. And the scary thing was she almost let them. I have never fully realized how messed up this world is till then! The world has somehow made people believe that Men and Women have to be perfect to be beautiful or to be wanted…. No fat, perfectly toned abs, big chest, ripped muscles, perfect skin, perfect hair, awesome clothes…. And if you don’t have these things you ARE NOTHING… YOU’RE A LOSER, You are worthless and you don’t care about yourself…You aren’t good enough…… I say- GET OVER YOURSELF!!! Obviously the only person who cares is yourself… I have come to see that the hard way and I have come to find that all I cared about was myself… SELFISH!

            As I was reading an entry someone I know wrote about how they hate how they look. And how they will spend hours in the gym almost killing themselves to look “perfect” and how people who are fat obviously don’t care about themselves and make them sick watching them stuff their faces…. I wanted to ball. I had the most sick wrenching feeling in my stomach. I started to get so upset. I am so fed up with this so called “FAT” business. I wish the world could see how beautiful every single person is…. FAT, SKINNY, MEDIUM, LOVE HANDLES, NO LOVE HANDLES, PREGNANT, OR WHATEVER... really is… I was looking around in church and I noticed that the people that are the most beautiful to me aren’t perfect… They are very far from it… The people I find beautiful are completely radiant and beyond the description of beautiful. They are the people that are giving themselves to perfect the world and not letting the world make them think they have to physically perfect themselves. We are put here on this earth to accomplish incredible things. And we cannot do that if all our thoughts are consumed about how fat we are or how we aren’t good enough. People will not be happy if they lose 2 pant sizes or lose 20 more pounds, They might be for a little but sadly it will never be good enough… There will always be more to lose! It is such a vicious cycle. The Lord must be so sad… He created us- and he does not make mistakes… He created us to become like him not become what the world wants us to become. We can become something so incredible and so beautiful- but we cannot get there by starring in the mirror wishing we were something else. I say eat healthy, work out (normally), and be HAPPY… size 22, size 16, size 12, size 10, size whatever...or pregnant...  Love yourself and not the world- because the world will never love you back.

            I really hope I don’t offend anyone reading this- I just can’t stand talking about this anymore… I would love to talk about life and important things instead of hearing how guilty people feel when eating a hot dog… seriously eat the hot dog… it is BBQ season okay!!!! Just remember as my Mom would say- moderation in all things!  If my girls or my boys are ever struggling with this problem I hope you come to realize that a boy, girl, or friends or whatever that is causing you to feel this way is not worth it- and won’t I guarantee- be the person you marry, or stay your friends, or someone that will change your life for the better. I love you all so much and I hope you understand how happy you can be now- Happiness doesn’t have to wait!